Sunday, October 20, 2013

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND TANDEM DREAMS


If ever there were two women more loved than Josie Two Shoes and I, I have yet to meet them.

She and her Papa Bear (like Joe and I) share a love of harmony, peace, joy in the home, and physical signs of affection as well as verbal reassurance that we are, indeed, loved beyond comprehension.

Although Josie has never mentioned dreams, Joe and I have started something rather odd:  we dream in tandem.

I accidentally fell onto a Youtube video the other night and I gasped in horror as I saw a young woman BEATING her six month old baby!  Someone was making the video (you could see their shadow) and Joe leaned over to see what had caused me such distress.

I felt as if I could not stop the video.  Here was a darling BABY, trying to crawl to the safety of the woman who was hitting him with her fists and her leather purse.

Joe jumped up and angrily listed everything the mother needed to suffer and we were both filled with distress and anxiety for that innocent infant.

When we finally got to sleep, the next morning we related how our dreams had both been filled with the horror of trying to rescue, and run as fast as we could, with that baby in our arms.

Every night, Joe and I cuddle and talk about how much our love for each other has changed our lives from silence, to shared conversations.  From being unloved, to being cherished.  From non-demonstrative partners, to having partners who hold hands, aren't embarrassed to kiss OUTSIDE of the house, and tell others how blessed we are.

These nightly rituals relax us both, and last night we were SO relaxed we both fell asleep on the couch.

But MY dream was of my wasbund, back in my life, walking into THIS house: plopping on the couch and staring at the TV without speaking.

In my dream, I screamed  "Oh NO.  This is NOT how it's going to happen!"

I yelled myself awake, and fearfully looked around the living room.  My wasbund was NOT here!  Hallelujah!

But neither was Joe.

I fell back to sleep and quickly re-entered the same damn nightmare.  When I jerked myself awake, I was sick with fear.

I needed to convince myself that I had JOE, and not the WASBUND!

But again, where Joe had fallen asleep, was vacant.

I then became aware that a warm afghan had been placed over my body and even the foot of it carefully tucked in.  

At my side was a bottle of water, in case I awoke feeling thirsty.  And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was safe and adored.

Funny thing was:  Joe had nightmares too about the wasbund showing up and receiving a well deserved kick in his ass.

Tonight, we're sleeping with the lights on.



37 comments:

  1. I saw a video of a mother beating her baby and I wanted to physically hurt the person taking the video for not stepping in! The mother deserves to rot in... well, you know.

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    1. I can't believe these things are on Youtube without police tracking them down!! Knowing about it, hearing about it, is NOTHING like SEEING it!!! And whoever video taped it needs even worse treatment!

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  2. if I had a man like your man, I'd still be married.

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  3. This is a truly heart-warming post - and has brought sentimental tears to my sooky eyes.
    And I love that you are sharing dreams. Can't be separated - awake or asleep.

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    1. We didn't start doing this until recently. I guess our wavelengths are truly in line with each other.

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  4. For people who do things like that to babies and children, the death penalty should be mandatory. And if they do physical, lasting harm, they would be sentenced to life with my worst wife. I have no patience or forgiveness of child abusers. And you are indeed a luck lady to have Joe... as he is lucky to have you. And I am lucky that I live hundreds of miles away or there would be computation. I would love to hang with Joe, too.

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    1. Did you mean you would love to HANG Joe so you could have the widow? Come on now. Fess up.

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  6. If this posts twice, then get rid of one, blogger is playing up. Now I can't remember what I wrote first because several seconds have passed so...anyhoo, to read of such appreciation and love for each other is a happy thing indeed. I am also very grateful for the love that surrounds me, and heaven knows I think we both deserve the happiness and safety we have ended up with. Some people are so evil, ones who can treat a child or anyone in such an abusive manner are beyond my understanding, and should also get their just desserts. Sadly they rarely do.
    I'd pay money to watch Joe kick the shit out of wasbund.

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    1. The wasbund truly ruined 33 years of my life, and my self-esteem. He was cruel and always used the "You made me do it".

      It's hard to gear us some self-respect and leave. I had no idea there really was such a thing as a happy marriage. I thought it was fiction!

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  7. I love me some Josie..Wendy. She has such a kind soul and I consider her my blog mom. She has given me great advice over the years. And is it not wonderful to feel so loved? We are truly blessed!

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    1. Wow, thanks Kristi! I love how much work you and your husband have done to make your marriage stronger than ever!

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  8. I, too, am so blessed to have a man who is crazy nuts in love with me. 35 years ago we married, and it just keeps getting better and better. Yes, there are a few good men out there. We obviously got the best of the few.

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    1. Jill, I am SO glad to know this! It is unheard of to be married one time and do it right. Congratulations on choosing wisely the first time!

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  9. Next August we will have married for 50 years!! My how time flies. . .

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    1. So is my sister and her husband! And you still love each other. AHHH-mazing luck you had, Dizzy, and your wife also.

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  10. True love doesn't come easy. You had the good fortune to meet your soul mate ... live, love and laugh all the way to the finish. Everything between is irrelevant.

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  11. As a couple who had trouble having kids (at first anyway) we find abuse of children especially hard to take. Oh, the number of times we have wanted to just relieve people of their children...

    You two have not got each other and ain't nobody going to get in the way now! I can see that from all the way over here!

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    1. And NOTHING, and no BODY is going to be abused in our presence. That's another fact!

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  12. Amen, amen, Lotta Joy! I like to think that we appreciate our wonderful husbands so much more because we've been with the other kind, and we KNOW how good we have it now. Just like you, we spend cuddle time every night, if Papa Bear isn't beside me I don't sleep well at all. While we haven't dreamed the same dreams yet, we often speak the same thought the other one was about to say, and it makes me smile. I have had some terrible nightmares in which I was still married to one of my abusive ex's and I wake up in a cold sweat. I am so thankful that I NEVER live in fear of anger now. Hallelujah!Being married to Papa Bear is so easy, he is so very good to me, just as Joe is to you, and yes, I do think we are worth it. I wish we could clone them and give a great guy to everyone who has ever experienced the worst of what is supposed to be a man. I say over and over not to give up, there is someone out there just right for you! Both you and I got our special someone a bit later in life, Lotta Joy, and what a blessing it is to know that we will spend our senior years with someone so very caring and supportive!

    As for that video, GRRRRR! What kind of sick person videos something like that instead of going to the aid of the child? The videographer should be taken out and stoned right along with the mother. I have no doubt that you or I would have undertaken some vigilante justice right then and there if we'd be present! Abuse of any kind drives me crazy, and I absolutely refuse to call it "entertainment" when it comes to movies and tv shows. Our society has become to immunized to react with the horror that is appropriate!

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    1. The one taking the video is MORE answerable to me than the bitch doing the hitting. That camera needed to land ON that mother's head - many, many, times.

      And, I neglected to say there was another woman standing by WATCHING it happen!!

      I really, really want that baby!!!

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  13. sorry. hurry up and forgive me. I miss you. the rat

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  14. Watching a video like that would've had my heart in palpatations!

    Dreaming in tandem, interesting. My husband and I are often on the same psychic wavelength - so much so I accuse him of reading my e-mail or blog posts before I've even written them! As far as I know, though, we don't dream in tandem. Something to look forward to?

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    1. Abby, it is something new that, if it continues, would take a lot of getting used to. I ALWAYS have nightmares, and Joe dreams of hitting the lottery.

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  15. I think I experienced every emotion just now. Beating a baby? Watching and taping it? I feel sick. Thanks for not sharing the link.
    But I love your stories about you and Joe! You two seem to be making up for lost time, and it's so heartwarming! I think I'll end on this note, so that I can go to sleep with happy thoughts.

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    1. I purposely didn't put up the link because I didn't want to traumatize my readers!

      It's hard not to click on a link. I know. I'm glad you enjoy reading about Joe and I. It's hard to tell about us without sounding like I'm bragging, BUT I'M NOT. I'm just so damn shocked that I can't help but bring it up now and then.

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  16. Since the day I met my husband in 1965 until now, any dream about him was/is a nightmare. I have lived in fear from the first memory I have. Someone said people make bad choices. I had no choice who was my father. As for choosing my husband, I made an uninformed decision. When a man sets out to deceive and turns into a monster within an hour of saying, "I do" I don't think I had all the facts to make a decision.

    Everything was my fault because I was not a good person. However, he was the on caught in lies all them time, the one who cheated on tests as he studied to be a minister, the on who was caught in bed with a woman not his wife. I just wonder if he blamed that on me.

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    1. I still have those wasbund nightmares. Can't shake them. Never will. I wish I'd dream of the good things in my life, but that isn't gonna happen.

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  17. It sounds like you and Joe made a beautiful match. xoxo

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    1. We do sweetie. I just can't help mentioning it.....a lot.

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  18. I so love hearing from all of the "happily married" out there. I lost my one and only soul mate after 39 years, but have such wonderful memories. I'm sure we never dreamed in tandem...he slept like a log and I suffer from night terrors and come awake like a crazy person. It was so good to have him hold me afterward and help me calm down. We were such opposites...he was a morning person and I'm a confirmed night owl and don't like noises/talking until I've been up a while. When I would get up in the mornings(to get ready to go to work) and stagger to the bathroom he would have a cup of hot tea ready for me and my curlers (anyone use them now?) plugged in for me as well. He/we never failed to kiss each other bye, even if one was only going to be out for a short bit, and we told each other "I love you" so many times every day...it was as natural as breathing. Please cherish your loved ones, you never know when they may be taken.

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  19. That makes me ill to think about that baby. While my "wasbund' was an ass, he was never abusive. I'm so glad you and Joe found each other. :)

    -andi

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  20. You two are such a good example of what marriage should be! Happy for you!

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