Sunday, October 20, 2013
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND TANDEM DREAMS
If ever there were two women more loved than Josie Two Shoes and I, I have yet to meet them.
She and her Papa Bear (like Joe and I) share a love of harmony, peace, joy in the home, and physical signs of affection as well as verbal reassurance that we are, indeed, loved beyond comprehension.
Although Josie has never mentioned dreams, Joe and I have started something rather odd: we dream in tandem.
I accidentally fell onto a Youtube video the other night and I gasped in horror as I saw a young woman BEATING her six month old baby! Someone was making the video (you could see their shadow) and Joe leaned over to see what had caused me such distress.
I felt as if I could not stop the video. Here was a darling BABY, trying to crawl to the safety of the woman who was hitting him with her fists and her leather purse.
Joe jumped up and angrily listed everything the mother needed to suffer and we were both filled with distress and anxiety for that innocent infant.
When we finally got to sleep, the next morning we related how our dreams had both been filled with the horror of trying to rescue, and run as fast as we could, with that baby in our arms.
Every night, Joe and I cuddle and talk about how much our love for each other has changed our lives from silence, to shared conversations. From being unloved, to being cherished. From non-demonstrative partners, to having partners who hold hands, aren't embarrassed to kiss OUTSIDE of the house, and tell others how blessed we are.
These nightly rituals relax us both, and last night we were SO relaxed we both fell asleep on the couch.
But MY dream was of my wasbund, back in my life, walking into THIS house: plopping on the couch and staring at the TV without speaking.
In my dream, I screamed "Oh NO. This is NOT how it's going to happen!"
I yelled myself awake, and fearfully looked around the living room. My wasbund was NOT here! Hallelujah!
But neither was Joe.
I fell back to sleep and quickly re-entered the same damn nightmare. When I jerked myself awake, I was sick with fear.
I needed to convince myself that I had JOE, and not the WASBUND!
But again, where Joe had fallen asleep, was vacant.
I then became aware that a warm afghan had been placed over my body and even the foot of it carefully tucked in.
At my side was a bottle of water, in case I awoke feeling thirsty. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was safe and adored.
Funny thing was: Joe had nightmares too about the wasbund showing up and receiving a well deserved kick in his ass.
Tonight, we're sleeping with the lights on.