Friday, January 18, 2013
Stud nearly had a stroke when he heard me on the phone with my insurance company asking for a specialist in MAXO-FELLATIO.
After I glared at him, I continued my conversation with Lee. An extremely friendly, and happy insurance representative. After I questioned Lee on the availability of a MAXO-FELLATIO expert who accepts my insurance, I was surrounded by laughter coming from the phone and the dining room.
It all began with a simple visit to the dental hygienist for my quarterly toofums cleaning.
I like her. She's very sweet and knowledgeable, but after saying "Open wide", she left the room and brought back the dentist I have avoided for over a year.
The dentist and hygienist dragged me to the other side of the office where I can only describe the following procedure as CRIME SCENE FOOTAGE as appears on NCIS. Photos were taken. Measurements were taken.
When yellow crime scene tape was wrapped around my head, I knew something was amiss. Because I'm fast on the uptake.
Which lead me to calling my insurance company to see if any MAXO-FELLATIO doctors in this area accept my insurance.
As the happy insurance representative (Lee) laughed, he proceeded to tell me that, (as we all know), our insurance is not accepted in this back woods, third world area of Floruba.
He recommended a three hour drive to Jacksonville, or a two hour drive to Tampa for my MAXO-FELLATIO needs.
But, just because a doctor accepts our insurance is no proof they are GOOD at what they do.
After all, my gynecologist accepts our insurance and our insurance accept HIM. It doesn't matter that he lost his license to practice. He's ACCEPTED.
I could go to Jacksonville, or Tampa, and any MAXO-FELLATIO specialist who accepts our insurance could very well be UN-licensed and living under the bridge.
Long story short (too late. I know) Lee found a MAXO-FELLATIO specialist in this area who accepts NO insurance and insists on payment at the front desk.
I'm sure he's a good'un.
And I said 'goodbye' to the extremely happy and cheerful Lee, still laughing on the phone.
AFTERWARDS, Stud corrected me on my pronunciation of MAXILLOFACIAL.