Stud was in the den, but when he heard the following: "WOMEN OFTEN HAVE SEXUAL FANTASIES INVOLVING OTHER MEN WHEN THEY ARE HAVING SEX." he popped out of the den like a groundhog on February 2.
"You've always said you don't!"
"Uh, right. And I never do."
"Ya might wanna listen to this!" I said to an empty room.
So I had Dr. Phil all to myself.
"Men are microwaves, women are ovens, and it helps to preheat an oven."
"Hey Stud! Come back!"
Stud returned after the show had ended, but only to make sure I had been telling him the truth.
"Stud, baby, when we're doing our 'happy boom boom' , I'm only thinking about YOU."
........and sometimes I notice a spot I missed when I was painting the ceiling..... but I kept that to myself.
About that time, the mailman arrived with a package.
(the shirt's not THAT big. I was holding it toward the camera.)
At the age of 63, I can honestly say that I have never, ever, had a reason to SQUEAL in my entire life. But I'm here to tell ya that I literally squealed, hopped up and down, did a boogie dance and kept saying "BOOM! shaka laka laka!"
In fact, as we were later buying up some ammo before it's no longer legal, I was looking at some Winchester 38, 130 grain hollow points, Stud nudged me because the salesman was looking at me strangely.
I happened to be saying "BOOM! shaka laka laka" while holding boxes of ammo. We quickly paid and got out, for the salesman's peace of mind.
THANK YOU sweetie we definitely think alike.
disclosure: Honey, I do not now, nor ever have, fantasized about anyone or anything else when we're making 'happy boom boom'....but for Christmas I'm getting you a crossbow.